Every Friday Zero Warning asks various local musicians a question to help you get to know them. This week’s question is, “What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”
Post your own answer in the comments!
Bryant Harp of Samurai Shotgun
There was one when we went to an amusement park. I have a big fear of roller coasters. I got sick as hell. Confirmation of not going on rides ever again.
Brian Campbell of Shadynasty
I took a girl to a park by the Sarasota Bay. I tried to impress her so I jumped in the bay and it was cold and dark out. Then she locked me out of my car in my underwear when I was trying to dry off and she didn’t let me in until I ran across the road in my underwear.
Ryan Dormois of Snacking
I remember my freshman year of high school I got ice cream with this girl and this was around the time that parkour and free running was pretty much the coolest thing any human could do. So being the cool guy I was, I jumped on top of this picnic table, ripped my pants and fell into this bush that was riddled with sandspurs. Quite a rush.
This guy picked me up for a day time movie….ya, during the day…. So the whole car ride he was trying to play really romantic songs, trying to set the mood I guess? I don’t know, definitely didn’t work. One that sticks out is Five for Fighting’s, 100 years. Then in the film, he was basically in my seat with me, with his hand all the way over on my side, trying to hold my hand. A bit much, in my opinion. The lack of conversation didn’t help anything either. And then on the way home, the romantic songs continued until he dropped me off at home…before it was dark out.
Eden Kittiver of Concert Junkies
My friend Stephen came over to hang and was like “Just date me already!” and I was like, “lol ok.” I thought he was gay because I met him at a show and he was with another guy and I thought they were dating. Then he was accidentally my boyfriend for over a month, even after I moved to the other side of the country.
I’m on a third date with this chick to see Matt and Kim. Now, Matt and Kim are my second favorite band, this is my third time seeing them and I’m STOKED. The lights turn down, they play their intro music and come out on stage dancing. I’m freaking out, I love this band. Matt throws a shirt out in to the crowd, and I’m in no way athletic, but I felt like I jumped ten feet in the air. I catch the shirt and start swinging it above my head in joy. I turn to my date and see her holding her eye in pain. I elbowed her in the eye on my way back down… The shirt was my size, so I kept it. I didn’t get a fourth date.
Taylor Johnson of Omri Loved Celadon and Existentia Cicada
Exchanging gropes while watching the theatrical release of Happy Feet.
Next up we have a very special set of guests. The Moonmen From Mars! Be sure to catch them tomorrow 2/7/15 at New World Brewery! Captain POTUS answers on behalf of the ship.
As Captain of Moonmen, our worst date was picking up hu-man Earth slave, Punky Blumenfeld. He’s OK now, but that’s only after years of indoctrination.
Captain POTUS on behalf of Dr. Klaw
As captain of Moonmen, I can vouch for Dr. Klaw that his worst date were Earth women. Because he never met one that he didn’t eat. Like literally, he ate them.
Captain POTUS on behalf of Kim Jon Moonman
As captain of Moonmen, I can vouch for Kim Jong Moonman. His worst date was when Rachel’s date for the prom showed up late, so Ross borrowed his dad’s tuxedo… but by the time he got dressed, her date had shown up. And they were gone.
Captain POTUS on behalf of MSgt. 2nd Class 27
As captain of Moonmen, I can vouch for MSgt. 2nd Class 27. He says, “I find this question beneath me. You have no authority per the Intergalactic Star Council.”